My Parents were Hippies

Oh brother! I am the offspring of hippies. It all began with the remembrance of my siblings names.. Such as "Douglas Alvin" and Russell Angus". It brought to mind that generation of hippies who named there children "Sunshine, echo, star and chastity". Hey wait a minute I thought. Didn't I grow up on a 100 acre organic farm.?.( and this was when organic wasn't even a household word.). Didn't we live without  any running water or indoor facilities? Did we not run around barefoot like a bunch of little hippy children? My dad may not have smoked pot but he used the dandelion to make wine which could in the proper conditions cause hallucinations. WE lived off the land and had turkeys for pets.  It gets worse. WE made our own jams and jellies. Didn't have much to do with outsiders and sat around listening to dad weave his magical tales.. Years later when we did finally move to another 100 acre commune, squatters took to our old farm.. My sister who went to Roshdale college in Toronto ( the same college that famed Margaret Trudeau attended) told some of her classmates about our empty farm who then decided to just move up and squat.. Rent was supposed to be paid but wasn't. Dad on the other hand got along quite well with these new generation hippies. Eventually they vacated. And there you have the dawning of the age of Aquarius. Last year I took a trip down memory lane which by the way begins by journeying a very picturesque road called "Maple Road". I stopped in at a Diner and 3 people from my past approached me. We laughed and reminisced as if time had stood still. It makes sense to me now that I would want to home school my kids  take up knitting and bake home made bread. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I've been thinking about a moral to this story. I'm afraid there isn't one this time. Just that if my folks were hippies and I never knew it, maybe yours were too. I'd be doing some reflecting if I were you.. Peace Out to all of you and may you dwell in Strawberry Fields Forever.

To Everything There Is A Season

The New Brunswick Eel

This Friday a dear Lady will be celebrating her "Nifty Fifty". It seems like only yesterday that I too reached the half way mark. Where has the time gone? Most of the ladies that attended my party have moved on and are no longer in my life. The seasons change and so do friendships. I"m onto my fourth week at Tim Hortons. I think that I'm getting faster and more into the groove. I like the idea of a uniform and I get tips. My tips go into hubby's Tim Horton coffee fund. This is very ironic. I also can eat and drink nearly anything I want to while on duty. All gratis. This gets old fast. Usually I long for something green and I don't mean candy sprinkles. Son #2 is off eel fishing. It's a grueling job much like tobacco picking that the more adventurous young person would do back in the 70"s. It's all about the money. Why else would you choose to spend your nights out on the cold rivers sewing nets and trying not to drown. This too is a season. One day he'll have stories to tell his children. Son #1 has bought his first home. I miss his Saturday routine of laundry and lunch. Son#3 will be finished high school in a few months. Considering he was home schooled until last year this to me is a major coup accomplis. Ecclesiastes tells of a time to be born and a time to die. A time to dance and a time to cry. Sometimes I feel like were just bits of flotsam and jetsam floating along without a stitch of control or direction. Fate has us by our proverbial necks.. This is when it's nice to know that someone does have it all together. Our lives are this great tapestry. From the under side (where we see it) it's all frayed and messy. But from where God sees it there is purpose and beauty.  The season that I'm in is one of growth. I'm not been cut the slack that I feel I so need. Yet, it's a time of growth that even I can see. I'm out of that place called complacency. I'm made to work hard, to save money rather than spend. In order to get everything done I need discipline and strength. God meets us. He gives us the grace to carry on each new day. It's good to know that our lives are a design. The master planner will take good care of us. So whatever season your in right now, know that it's not forever but for better.. Adieu my friends, until next time..

Working Noon To Five

All morning long I've been singing "Dolly Parton's ", Nine to Five song. It's stuck in my head like a mantra. Tim Horton's officially hired me. I begin training tomorrow. The interview went well except for the question as to why I wanted to work at their establishment. It took everything I had not to tell her the truth. You see , if honesty prevailed I would have told her how I overspent on my credit card and instead of just writing me a celestial cheque, God  decided that I should work it off so the message would be permanently imbedded into my thick skull. Thus working for Tim Horton's is my punishment. This would not have gone over very well. Everyone's been very kind and encouraging. I've been told that I suit this line of work because of my friendly disposition. I hope that this is true. I have an adage about growing older. It's the "More miles the less smiles". Watching the lovely ladies work at Timmies reminds me of the movie "Pleasantville." The manager who was very nice cannot ask certain questions. Instead she uses word play to try and get you to talk about your insecurities. She was telling me about one lady who began working for them but forgot to mention that she was on antidepressants and cracked under the pressure. Knowing this, I volunteered the info that she was seeking. Yes, I said , I'm very much all together and stressful situations are a piece of cake for me. Meanwhile I've been up all nights stressing over this lack of anxiety that I'm endowed with. I'ts not like there's any other way around it. I've actually been bored for quite a long time. I've made a necklace out of a T-shirt, polished all the shoes, watched every (descent) movie on Netflicks and organized my closet in color, style and season. My family is pretty much able to thrive on their own. In the last week I've made 3 meals that have been basically ignored. Hubby's been out helping son #1 renovate his new home. Son #2 is going off to the salt mines for 2 months (really just eel fishing, but it's pretty nasty). Son #3 is in school and daughter #2 fends and cooks for herself. Some nights I lie awake and plead with God to not let me go work outside the home. "I'll be good" I say." I'll scrub all the floors without complaint." Deep down I know that this is what I need. If I worked now I could work for a decade before retirement. This actually is on my bucket list. So why all the fuss. I'm old and set in my ways and perhaps a tad lazy. My hubby is very excited about me working. He say's that eventually we can get ahead. I told him that maybe he could get another job (his third). I'm so kind .. Ah working noon till 5, It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it.. It's the little things, like farting in front of customers, or having a hot flash and turning a bright shade of pink  that bothers me. My hubby say's one day at a time. He's right. If God has gotten me to where I am now He will surely take me the rest of the way. Will I fail? maybe.. but hopefully in the failing I will learn another valuable lesson. Life is all about growing and learning. Staying home is all about not leaving the nest and the comfort zone. So my friends, say a little prayer for me and until we meet again.
Tumble outta bed and I stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
And yawnin', stretchin', try to come to life

Jump in the shower and the blood starts pumpin'
Out on the streets, the traffic starts jumpin'
With folks like me on the job from 9 to 5

Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin'
Barely gettin' by, it's all takin' and no givin'
They just use your mind and they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

The Best Of Times

Today, as I was folding yet another basket of clothing I had a most brilliant revelation.  How many 50something year old"s have the privilege to care for 3 young people and to be able to watch them grow.  Not a day goes by without a hug or a round house kick (a thing son #2 and I share) "It's complicated". I can't let the Alzheimer creeper into my life I've got much to much going on. I need to know a little math, a little Science, a little literature. I must have the mind to shop and cook for 5 different appetites. Yesterday was another story. I was having a little pity party. You know the kind without the balloons or chips and pop. Even with internal help I'm still not able to get into Tim Horton"s. You'd almost think that someone was trying to close the doors on this venture. Sometimes I feel like I've been left out of the loop. Lost somewhere in an unknown galaxy. It's been mommy daycare for 30 some years give or take a few. I've been thinking of going to the department of Family Affairs and giving them my invoice. Then again, being a mom is the most rewarding job on the planet.  In the end will I remember each and every meal I cooked? I don't think so. Yet, those meals helped my kids to grow healthy and strong.( Joe Louis' excluded. ) Will they remember every smile and encouraging word spoken? Doubt it. Yet, the love will carry on to a new generation. I'm really grateful to have been entrusted with this task. I know there have been trying times and I've failed over and over again. My hubby bless his heart has been helping #1 son with his new home. He's also been driving #2 son back on forth from exams and encouraging him along the way. In between he's fixing computers and walking the dog. One day, my kids will be gone. Our home and car will be paid for. We'll be able to go out to restaurants and maybe see the East Coast. My house will be spotless and I'll have new towels. Sounds great right ? NOT... Sounds sad and lonely to me. If I can stand back for just a moment I would have to stay that this is indeed the Best of Times. "Ohana" means family in Hawaii. A house is just a house until you have a family inside of it then it's a home. Well, I must go and clean, this time I will be singing a happy tune. Happy Trails to all of you and enjoy your day to the fullest. :)

Extra Extra Read All About It

They say that when your given lemons the best thing to do is to make lemonade.  It seems that in the past while the lemons of life have been dropping from the proverbial lemon tree.. remember the song.. "Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat".  Come with me and take a walk on the complaining side. (Doesn't that sound like fun). It would seem that I've racked up a hefty amount on my charge card. It began at Christmas and then just snowballed. You know the drill. So, I've been looking for a job. I found a little one. I'm support worker to a handicapped woman who's now vacationing in the Dominican. (There's some irony there)  It's not all bad I've learned how to give a toilet a wonderful clean and how not to handle irreplaceable fridge magnets. I have been asked to clean windows if I have the time.. Fortunately I'm as slow as molasses so the windows aren't getting done. I pray continually to have the patience to listen to my client as she remembers with fondness and detail where each 100 precious moments figurines have come from while I dust.  (And you all thought I was a nice kind of person) keep reading.  My hubby knows a friend who has a sister who has a cousin that may be able to get me in Tim Horton's. Truth be known-st' I really don't want to serve coffee. I've been doing it for 30 years and don't think I can glean anything new from the experience. New Agers will tell you that all you have to do is to cast your thoughts out into the universe and through some strange law of attraction every good thing that you've wished for will come your way. The Bible say's that all good gifts are from God and that He will give us the desires of our hearts.. Right about now I'm thinking more on the verse "We'll reap what we sow". Who knew that I would be cleaning toilets in order to keep out of debtors prison. I can just see myself in an orange jumpsuit with a ball and chain around my ankle serving stale coffee to other inmates. I'm not having as much fun as I thought I would at my age. Instead of vacationing on exotic islands I'm picking up dog poopoo and chauffeuring young people.  I've thrown my wishes out there and the Universe hasn't been listening. Yesterday while driving to the Bay, my friend told me something dreadful. She calculated my age and said that I was really ( #*) I was shocked. An extra year was added to my life in a matter of moments. "Tempus Fugit"  when your having fun. NOT.. I suppose your wondering about the moral to this little blog. You know the one that ties neatly in with the heading.  This is what I've come up with. God doesn't molly coddle whiners or complainers. He cares, but he's always fair and just. I wish I didn't have to work. However, the lessons I've learned go so deep that all I can do is to thank Him. The show must go on and who knows what pleasantries and surprises wait for me.  Happy Trails to all of you my friends and may God serve you your fruit of choice and hopefully  it's not a lemon..

A Wrinkle In Time

When I was a girl I never gave the time of day to what it might be like growing older. Instead of watching time, it watched you , like a parent you were confident in it's clutches. If I only knew then what I know now, how would things be different? Perhaps if I saw my mom and dad as two struggling individuals who didn't really know what they were doing would I have resisted the urge to offer unsolicited advice. Would I have studied harder and married less :) The next thing you know your in your 20's having kids of your own and making more mistakes than your parents did. But there's still time to change and grow. Your face is radiant, your body strong and lean and you have energy to boot. The 30's and 40's are blurs. Your to busy watching your own children grow and become something and your still strong and not yet forgetting things. The only exception being the time you placed baby #5 in her seatie and forgot where you put her. :) Course I was in my 40's then. So fifty comes. If your a woman it's a time of great changes. People no longer call you Miss  but are now opening doors for you and calling you Mam. Your hair is grey and wrinkles are appearing. I once asked for some advice from a dear Shoppers Drug Mart  consultant. I was looking for Polyfiller. That's what I asked for.. He said "Mam, maybe you should embrace your wrinkles". It's only taken me 6 years to do so. It's a process you know.. Make up is amazing.. and hair dye.. But there comes a time when even the foundation isn't working and the dyed hair makes you look like a Bo Derek wanna be. I want to know if there's a manual out there that might help me to grow old gracefully. So far I've been fighting it tooth and nail. I'm trying to look at the positive. Take yesterday for instance. I asked a sales clerk if I qualified for the senior discount.. which I did. BONUS.. I don't have to waste 100's of dollars on anti aging serums that contain placenta/acai/jojoba/Q10 compounds. I can advice the youth and tell them stories of when I was a girl. I don't have to worry about men ogling me (not that is was much of a problem before) . I look forward to retirement and joining the Red Hat Club. Through out all I hope that I am reaching the mark. If I should live till I'm 90 it's not near the length of time that I will live in the glorious presence of my Heavenly Father. If I could change one thing, it would be to cease the striving. Perhaps the next 30 years might be spent resting in His love. After all He has never let me down. He was there when I fell off the swing, He was there when I screamed in the pain of my labors, He was there when a marriage failed and a new one began, He was there when I cried out to Jesus to be my Lord and Savior and He is with me always to the end of this great race. Adieu my friends and may every wrinkle you see on that face of yours remind you of years of growth and love.

Shark Attack

We just loved the movie "Soul Surfer". I suppose it's because it's based on a true story and the moral is uplifting about never giving up and being an over comer.. I had to get past a hurdle though. So God in his divine nature of love and justice designed this . Sometime ago before little Bethany was even born God planned for all of this to happen. Yes Bethany Hamilton, you would have this amazing life, living by the ocean with this super loving family,  until your 13th year. One day I will send a huge shark to bite off your arm. Two things that terrify me, amputation and sharks. It took me awhile to wrap this picture around my little brain. Obviously God had this wonderful plan for Bethany. His ways are not our ways.. Remember Jim Carrey in "God Almighty". He was given the powers of God and made quite a mess of things. God never makes a mess of anything.. Fast forward to 7 years ago.. All of a sudden a really bright and sweet child began blinking and making sounds. Her mind without warning would make her body do things and say things without any control. No movie is being made about this life. She just has to live it through. We can't wait to come out on the other side. Sometimes I need to see the answers to my questions like WHY LORD? Seems to me like we are swimming in shark infested waters daily.  Best to carry a phazer and own a life saving manual . I can hear the theme music from "Jaws" as I write.. Looking over my shoulder I'm assured that I'm safe. I don't want to lose my arm or any other body part for that matter.  Isn't it grand that the sharks of this world are still subject to that great Harbor Master. No limb was evcr severed except by God's devine plan.. His plan is always right and good. This morning it may be all I need to know to keep me going and going happily and securely.  Happy Trails until we meet again..

Resolutions and Restitutions

Welcome to 2012. It's either the end of the world or the beginning of something grand. I tend to want to believe the later, because I'm the eternal optimist. Usually I can get a feel as to how the year will go. We weren't able to see the year in with our faithful friends and their bonfire. If that's an indicator it may be the year of the lonely. Then again our 2nd son came home to live. This meant the building of a new room and most importantly the dismantling of a gigantic pool table. Said pool table has long been a sore spot with me on account of it's taking up half the downstairs. Hubby finally decided that son was more important than the table.. Prayers answered.. Great way to begin a new year. Tim Horton's didn't want me. I was given a very huge inferiority complex with their rejection. The Pollyanna in me however came to the conclusion that I was spared this menial labor and soon would be offered something more substantial. On New Years day I went to church. My resolution is to make a commitment to one church establishing with great hopefulness some new friendships. It was a great day. I loved the interactive Sunday School and the message on "Time". Then my #1 son and life partner came over for a homemade ham dinner.  A great time was had by all. The next day as I was talking to my sister  I realized that if you have 8 brothers and sisters that it might be impossible for complete peace and unity to exist. This was the theme of 2011.  I won't get into details but there are some relationships that 2012 needs to see improved. I believe that the year of the lonely might bring good fortune in this area. (Chinese year of reference). I have a friend who once penned the phrase.. "If it weren't for people this world might be a good place to live". People are an enigma to me. You can't live with them and living without them makes for a dull existence. I am basically a loner. I enjoy doing things by myself and as I get older I become more and more so. Which is why I am forcing myself to become involved at church. In this day and age when you can have complete relationships with your friends without leaving your desk it is now become a skill to master. The art of talking to someone face to face needs practicing. I'm glad for another year.. Bring it on . Adieu and may old acquaintances not be forgotten and remember old Lange Sein.. whoever he may be.. :)